Paper Heart

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.   Psalm 18:32

             Clearing away breakfast dishes after enjoying french toast and bacon, I listen to my little ones create masterpieces of their own. It’s Daddy’s birthday, and we each work to make him feel special. As I load the last dish, I’m startled by a construction-papered heart that is tossed up on the counter. I watch my nine year old son march back to the table with shoulders slouched.      

“It’s ruined, this one is a mess-up.” 

“Michael, this one is great, Daddy will love it!” But nothing I say can convince him.   

I wipe down the counter, careful to pick up the artwork so that it won’t get wet. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him tear off another piece of red construction paper. He starts from scratch, cutting and coloring with hopes of reaching perfection. 

My pursuit of connecting with God often takes similar shape. I work to cut out a perfectly shaped heart, only to fall miserably short. I fumble through prayer one moment - cut my Bible reading time in half the next. All the while, He treasures every paper scrap expression of my heart.   

Later that evening, as I tuck the kids into bed, I ache with how much my kids mean to me. I thank God for another day to hear their little voices, to receive hugs and share their laughter. I smile with thoughts of Michael’s trash. The very thing he thought was a failure becomes my treasure. I tuck the lopsided heart into a special drawer, and join my husband for the close of the day. 

             Lord thank You for embracing us with the heart of a father. You see past the mismatched parts of our behavior, right to our hearts. I pray for the courage and strength to move freely without the constant fear of messing up.